You might need to review the special punctuation rules for quoted statements: The Ten Rules of Quoted Speech.
Examples:
BEFORE: I told my father not to worry. (7 words)
AFTER: "Father," I said, "don't worry." (5 words)
BEFORE: Dr. Mutiba thought that Ravana might be depressed. (8 words)
AFTER: "Ravana might be depressed," thought Dr. Mutiba. (7 words)
BEFORE: He told me that I had to believe him. (9 words)
AFTER: "You must believe me!" he said. (6 words)
BEFORE: The general asked himself if he could trust this young soldier. (11 words)
AFTER: "Can I trust this young soldier?" the general asked himself. (10 words)
BEFORE: Sugriva promised Rama that his army would go with him to Lanka. (12 words)
AFTER: "Rama," Sugriva promised, "my army will go with you to Lanka." (11 words)
BEFORE: Mordecai told Esther that she had to beg the king for protection. (12 words)
AFTER: Mordecai told Esther, "You must beg the king for protection." (10 words)
BEFORE: The priest asked Joan if she was sorry for what she had done. (13 words)
AFTER: "Joan, are you sorry for what you have done?" the priest asked. (12 words)
BEFORE: Robin wondered whether or not he would ever get out of the dungeon. (13 words)
AFTER: "Will I ever get out of this dungeon?" Robin wondered. (10 words)
BEFORE: The Beast explained that an evil witch had put a curse on him. (13 words)
AFTER: "An evil witch put a curse on me," the Beast explained. (11 words)
BEFORE: Little Red told the wolf that she was going to her grandmother's house. (13 words)
AFTER: Little Red told the wolf, "I'm going to my grandmother's house." (11 words)
For more strategies to use in reducing your word count while improving your writing, see this list: Short and Sweet Writing Strategies.
Little Red Riding Hood by Carl Larsson (1881)
